It's Not The Athlete That's 'Soft', Coach... It's Your Ego

"Stop blaming the athletes for you being a bad coach!"

Every year during the College Football Playoffs and World Junior Hockey Championship, the same tired voices emerge—washed-up athletes and old-school coaches reminiscing about their glory days, preaching about today's young athletes being "soft." It's time to put an end to this and look at the reality.

I've spent over a decade in the trenches of athlete development, witnessing firsthand the evolution of athletic dedication. To those blinded by "good ol' days", here's a reality check: young athletes today are tougher than ever. If you disagree, it's high time to give your head a shake.

Let's start with something simple to recognize—the training and workouts. Those hard workouts you once boasted about? Frankly, they were a joke. Gone are the days of a couple of gym sessions a week. Today's athletes tackle that schedule by Tuesday! With workouts, film sessions, mental training, and a laser focus on nutrition, their commitment makes the way things used to be laughable. Let's be honest here.

Next up, “That kid has a bad attitude… They’re a cancer to the team” – No coach, it’s you who is the cancer and the sad part is, you have the greatest influence for that cancer to spread. Here's a message to coaches quick to label athletes with bad attitudes as "cancers" to their teams—your outdated tactics are transparent and the athlete sees right through that. What scares you, is that so-called "attitude problem" is often nothing but genuine self-confidence of the athlete, unwilling to tolerate the archaic coaching methods of screaming and yelling. Your coaching playbook resembles something out of the stone age, and athletes see through it. So, you'd rather get rid of the athlete and blame it on the attitude, than check yourself and your coaching ways. Let's try this, next time you see yourself placing the focus on the athlete’s ‘bad’ attitude, maybe look in the mirror and see if maybe, just maybe, that attitude isn't 'bad'. It's a fierce attitude that wants to be successful and they are demanding the same thing from you that you want out of them, and that is your best, Coach. When coaches blame athletes for showing emotions, yelling back, or demanding better coaching, they fail to see the mirror. That "attitude" they loathe? It's often a plea for better coaching methods. Your intimidation tactics have become as irrelevant as yesterday's news.

Here we go, coaches arguing that "young players are too concerned with how their uniforms look or that they focus too much on their “hype” on social media". Well coach, I hate to break it to you, this is the world we live in now. So, accept it. Remember when you were wearing the biggest pads to make yourself look good. Or, rubbing dirt on yourself to make yourself look tough. Remember when you used to clip newspaper articles about yourself and pin them up on the fridge or bulletin board, I bet you still have those clippings! Well Boomer, social media is today’s bulletin board. So don’t give me that bullshit that players only care about hype these days. You did the exact same thing; the difference is that you don’t know how to use InstaTweet or The BookFace these days. And on that note, what the hell is so wrong with taking pride in how you look or being so proud of your performance that you want the world to see?!

Ya, but "today’s athletes are too soft to play through the pain" – Ok, let's talk about injuries and athletes choosing caution over recklessness. Athletes today are more educated in ways than you or even your trainers ever were. They study human kinetics extensively, unlike your days of shrugging off concussions as "bell ringers" or the lingering effects of concussions as being "punch drunk". They prioritize long-term health over short-lived glory. Athletes now know how serious these injuries in fact can be and will chose to sit this one out to preserve their life in the future. Sorry, I know how much that hurts the coach or former athlete to hear, the one who limps around the field these days talking about their glory days. Who can’t sit for more than 20 minutes, who can’t run and play with their children or grandchildren, who have aches and pains that never go away. Athletes didn’t continue to play though injuries or pain because they were tough… it was because they didn’t know any better… athletes today know better! I know right! How dare they?!

"I can’t coach the way I want to because the cameras are always watching". Excuse me?! What the hell are you so afraid of the camera’s “Catching”? Sorry Coach, if your coaching style isn't fit for public view, then I promise that the problem isn't the athlete—it's your venomous coaching. It's mind blowing how some coaches cower behind the excuse that their coaching methods can't withstand public scrutiny and that "kids these days are too soft for the way I coach.". If your methods are toxic or detrimental, if your approach relies on intimidation or outdated tactics, it's not the fault of the athletes. Blaming them for your shortcomings as a coach is cowardly. Instead of hiding behind the lens of a camera, it's time to check your methods and ask yourself if they truly serve the best interests of your athletes. It's about time coaches stopped making excuses and took responsibility for their shitty coaching tactics. Stop blaming the athletes for you being a bad coach!

Enough with the bullshit claims of softness. Today's athletes carry immense burdens, juggling rigorous schedules, facing unprecedented talent, and enduring mental health challenges and tragic suicides among their peers at alarming rates. They face these challenges head-on, sweating, bleeding, and pushing themselves with unparalleled determination. They confront more obstacles and endure relentless scrutiny daily, far beyond what was experienced by celebrated athletes of the "good ol' days". Let's set the record straight—young athletes today exhibit an unparalleled resilience and toughness, navigating a landscape tougher than ever before! Young athletes today are HARDER than they have ever been!

So, to the coaches pointing fingers, saying the can't coach the way they want to coach, it's not the athletes who need a reality check—it's you. Your refusal to adapt blinds you to the grit and resilience of modern athletes. Stop scapegoating and start recognizing their unwavering commitment to success. You only have yourself to blame because you are afraid to accept that you are the one that’s the problem, your coaching is the problem - because you are afraid of change and you're terrified that maybe, just maybe, if you accepted that and changed the way you coached, you might actually see that it works. But that scares you, because then that means you were wrong... but there's no way that could be.

Today’s athletes have indeed changed, and it’s for the better. The sooner you recognize that, the sooner you may actually become a good coach again. But if you refuse to do that and keep acting hard, you will continue to be left behind like the dinosaur you are.

Sorry if this hurts your feelings, Coach. Maybe stop being so soft.